OUR BLOG

“The fabric of everything is not love.  It’s beauty. 
And the experience of seeing beauty is love.”

This rather profound quote comes to us from an interview with Dr. Zach Bush, who many of you know as a triple board-certified physician and modern day wise man.

I was really struck by that line … that thought.  But what does it mean for us in practical terms?  How can an appreciation of this relationship between what is beautiful in our world … and love … make a difference in our daily lives?

Is it good to be satisfied with where you are … or dissatisfied?  Is it good to be happy with the outcomes you’ve achieved or would it be better to always be wanting more?  These are questions that come up all the time in both my life and business coaching.

Trick questions?  Well, yeah, kinda, because there’s no definitive yes or no answer for every person in every situation.

BUT  … there are some important insights we can glean from examining these questions and seeing where people get wrapped around the axle, making themselves miserable by answering them in an unhelpful way.

It’s my job as a life coach … and a human being … to manage what’s going on inside me … to manage how I’m feeling.  A large part of that involves sitting with and ultimately transforming any negative feelings and inner dialogue I’ve conjured up into something more positive … the very best I can.  

Some people do this really well.  They’re generally optimistic and naturally don’t have to work that hard to see the brighter side of life.  Others don’t do this work at all … or do very little of it … and you can tell by what it’s like to be around them!

I do this fairly well, because I’m consistent.  But I didn’t come out of the womb a generally happy, optimistic person.  I’ve chosen to work at it.  We’ve talked about many of the tools I use in these newsletters over the years … writing a gratitude list, refreshing my mind and body with a midday meditation, doing EFT (tapping) when something’s really bothering me, etc.

Today, I want to share a story … and a tool that’s very easy to use and brings such a positive punch to your life!

There are times when we’re in physical, mental/emotional, and behavioral states that aren’t doing us any good or, at the very least, are suboptimal.  As a life coach, a big part of my job is helping people improve their physical and emotional state and behave more advantageously, so they can be happier, more productive, and simply get more of what they want out of life.

That process involves change.  And change doesn’t come about without two things … a recognition that change is needed and the willingness to actually do what’s necessary to effect it.

In life, there are things you simply HAVE to do.  And they take away from the things you GET to do.  So, what’s your HAVE TO / GET TO ratio?  As a life coach, I’m always encouraging clients, audience members, and readers to do more of the things that bring them joy and satisfaction … and to structure their lives so they’re able to do more of the things they really like doing.

I’ll often ask something like, “What would you like to do that would make you really happy and energized?“

It’s usually not enough to just be good at what you do.  This is a belief I’ve held and passed along to clients and audience members since my earliest days as a business coach.

You have to do the work necessary to connect in a meaningful and personal way with the people who need you and want what you have to offer if you want to start and maintain a successful business.

Otherwise, you’re like the thousands of brilliant writers out there who never get read.  You’re like the sweetest, most perfect gift that doesn’t get opened.

It’s a belief I recently had reinforced by listening to an energy expert, of all people, talking in passing about what has made the subscription services his team offers so incredibly successful … so unbelievably fast.

Has she called yet?  Is the technician scheduled to come out?  I gave her the guy’s number a couple of days ago.  I’m left waiting and wondering.   And while I wait, it’s making me think about two cardinal themes of life coaching … tolerations and personal integrity. 

Ya want to get rid of the first … and you want to do everything possible to uphold the second.

As I’m working with my life and business coaching clients, I often see themes … re-occurring issues, challenges, or opportunities that several of them are dealing with at about the same time.  It’s often something I’m dealing with as well.  And that’s part of the beauty of being a life coach.  

I’m subject to the same issues and challenges and I can’t exempt myself from following the advice I give folks. 

I have to “walk the talk” alongside my clients.

A theme I’ve been noticing lately is how much our self-righteousness gets in the way of what we want … both at work and in our relationships.

Life doesn’t work like a Digital Video Recorder.  Huh?  What’s this crazy talk coming from your trusty life coach?

“I should be over this by now!”  Recently, in calls with my life coaching clients, several people have said this to me … exasperated that they’re still troubled by something they “should have” dealt with and put to rest by now.   The issue was different in each case … the refrain exactly the same.

What’s troubling them is always something from their past … often childhood … that’s stuck with them, unresolved.  And often, they’ve made up a “story” about it they believe to be true … one that traps them in an unhappy place … a bothered place … a place of self-criticism.