OUR BLOG

As I’m working with my life and business coaching clients, I often see themes … re-occurring issues, challenges, or opportunities that several of them are dealing with at about the same time.  It’s often something I’m dealing with as well.  And that’s part of the beauty of being a life coach.  

I’m subject to the same issues and challenges and I can’t exempt myself from following the advice I give folks. 

I have to “walk the talk” alongside my clients.

A theme I’ve been noticing lately is how much our self-righteousness gets in the way of what we want … both at work and in our relationships.

Life doesn’t work like a Digital Video Recorder.  Huh?  What’s this crazy talk coming from your trusty life coach?

“I should be over this by now!”  Recently, in calls with my life coaching clients, several people have said this to me … exasperated that they’re still troubled by something they “should have” dealt with and put to rest by now.   The issue was different in each case … the refrain exactly the same.

What’s troubling them is always something from their past … often childhood … that’s stuck with them, unresolved.  And often, they’ve made up a “story” about it they believe to be true … one that traps them in an unhappy place … a bothered place … a place of self-criticism.

Over the last several years, we’ve had the privilege of coaching executives of a high-tech company, whose name you’d recognize.  They’re an S&P 500 company that makes the equipment and provides the services that allow the modern world … and all the incredibly complex systems we take for granted … to operate seamlessly behind the scenes. 

The senior VP in charge of the division we’re involved with is a force of nature and a great leader, in large part because he’s both a good strategic thinker with great instincts and a very skilled, supportive communicator who’s able to get the best out of his people.

We were talking with him and one of his direct reports … another standout leader … about how easy it is to get impatient and kinda growl at people when we’re frustrated.

Our VP told us this story … short and bittersweet.

If you’ve been following me for a while, you probably know that about six months ago we adopted a puppy, bringing this little bundle of fluff and joy into our family.  Like a good business owner and coach, I didn’t take this decision lightly.  I actually considered the move for quite some time and did my due diligence before taking the leap.

Picture me in my happy place, spending time at our condo in Puerto Aventuras, Mexico.  And I’m riding in my golf cart along my favorite “jungle” path, watching the workers leave for the day.  There’s always a stream of workers coming in the gate at 7 am and out again around 5 pm … a flood of construction workers, often carrying big heavy toolboxes on their shoulders or on their motorcycles, alongside the wait staff for the hotels and restaurants, walking or riding their bikes.

The folks I get to interact with are uniformly happy, gracious, and kind-hearted.  Is there any resentment when they see me in a golf cart, clearly not headed to lay concrete block or take orders on a hot beach from people who aren’t always as gracious as they could be?  I’m sure there’s some.  But I’ve never seen it.

What are you grateful for?  As a life coach, I ask myself and my clients this all the time … not just at Thanksgiving.

And, so often, it’s the people in our lives, good health, and material abundance that we tend to focus on.  That’s all good. 

And yet, there are the miracles of life we tend to take for granted … like the beating of our hearts, which will do their thing some 100,000 times today … the magical thing that is high fidelity recorded music … the seed that waits years before flowering in the desert  … the miracle of the sun rising yet another day as the earth rockets through space at 36,000 miles an hour.

May I offer you this Taoist prayer, which connects us with the essential … the miraculous … the possible.  I think you’ll enjoy it.

A good coach is trained to ask questions … not necessarily to impart their own “wisdom.”  So, here goes.   I want to ask you two questions with my business coach hat on.

In pondering the answers to these questions myself, it’s opened up HUGE things for me … things I haven’t seen before …  new possibilities for my future.  That’s why I’m presenting them to you here.

And, trust me, this isn’t just another visioning exercise.  I’ve done a ton of visioning in 20 years of coaching.  This is different.

It may be obvious, but the quality of your life depends on the state of mind and body you spend most of your time in.  The more time you spend in positive states, the better life is.

Lord knows it’s easy to slip into a state of irritation or disillusionment … anger or overwhelm.  There are plenty of negative emotions to grab ahold of.  And when you’re in an emotional funk, are you really enjoying life?

They say you’re either part of the problem or you’re part of the solution. 

Not always true, of course, but it does offer us a lens through which to evaluate our thinking and behavior around any number of issues.  Are we helping or hurting?

Do we choose to complain or even make things worse … or do we open our hearts and think and act constructively … with compassion?