OUR BLOG

You may think, since I’m a life coach, I’ve probably worked out all my “stuff” from childhood … emotional traumas … perceived slights … disappointments … fears … disempowering beliefs.

Uh, no.

Would that it were so! Not that I haven’t done pretty darn well with most of it, but resolution of these pesky mental and psychological bugaboos is seldom achieved all at once and completely. I don’t care who you are. That stuff is there.

Last night, a dear friend I haven’t heard from in a while sent me a text that said, “I was listening to ‘Harry’s song’ tonight and I thought of you.”

Harry Hedges was my first husband … my first love. He died 30 years ago this year. Harry’s song was The Leader of the Band by Dan Fogelberg. It was the CD that was in our CD player when he died, and it described him perfectly … “a quiet man of music.”

I was surprised by how much grief and sadness was aroused when I listened to his song again. And it couldn’t help but reactivate the feelings of loss surrounding the death of my dear friend, Stephen, just one month ago.

We’ve all suffered losses over the last year. Our loss of freedom. Loss of family and friends. Some through death … some through the divisiveness created in our country … some through the inability to connect in person.

In life, we’re often faced with situations where we simply need to do what we need to do. As a life coach, I talk with people a lot about what they want out of life … their dreams and aspirations. But I also help folks cope with the curveballs life throws at them … many of which are things they don’t have that much control over.

It might be a case of parents having to care for an autistic child.

It might be family members or friends having to take care of someone who’s sick, injured or simply in a bad place.

It might be kids … who are often becoming seniors themselves … finding themselves in a situation where they need to care for an aging parent or relative.

The reason I’m focusing here on caregiving will become obvious as we make our way down the page.

As a life and business coach, I often find myself starting early in the morning … after my gratitude time … working with clients, teaching classes, presenting on webinars, etc. It’s not unusual for me to go for several hours in a row with no real down time.

I typically take a midday break and then return to work with folks in the afternoon, sometimes going into the evening or coming back to work on administrative stuff at night.

I need to be 100% there for folks in every interaction. I put a lot into the work, drawing on all my resources. It takes energy.

I like the Dalai Lama. He seems like a really nice guy … friendly, relaxed, happy and healthy. In my mind’s eye, he’s smiling. He smiles a lot.

When you hear him speak, you can tell he knows a few things about the nature of living on earth.

The Lama is a Buddhist, of course, and Buddhists talk a lot about suffering. The broad and somewhat vague way they talk about it never really resonated to these American ears.

Can a service provider who’s less expensive do just as good a job … or a
better job … than one who’s pricier?

Of course.

But let me relate a story that serves as a cautionary tale to you as a
service provider.

As a life coach, I’m always looking for those messages and distinctions that make our lives easier and more fulfilling. That said, as a business coach, I absolutely detest when I see headlines that promise the world, promises like … Make 6-Figures In 6 Weeks With Our One-of-a-Kind Program! So why would I make such a huge promise in the headline of this newsletter? The one true answer. Really?

Here’s why. Because after months of experimenting, I’ve found it to be a sure-fire panacea for dealing with things you don’t like in your world, but either can’t change or you’re gonna have to do a lot of heavy lifting to change.

I ask a lot of provocative questions in my role as a life coach, but this one is pretty unusual, even for me.

They put pilots in a flight simulator and confront them with extremely challenging and often life-threatening challenges.

Are they doing it to torture the pilots … to make them sweat and suffer as they scramble to determine the appropriate corrective actions to take?

Of course not.

So, what’s the purpose?

Beauty is everywhere. It surrounds us … the beauty of nature and the beauty of things man-made. As a life coach, I’m always encouraging my clients to pay attention to the beautiful and wonderous world around them.

But do I, myself, take a lot of things for granted that are right in front of me?

Absolutely. We all do, even those who practice mindfulness very diligently. What’s familiar fades into the background, even when it’s mindblowingly awesome, like Niagara Falls or the sparkle in a baby’s eyes.

Case in point: Look at this picture. The subject is nothing short of an objet d’art.

I’m a business coach. You might not think intuition plays that big a role in what I do, but it does. Likewise, you might think there’s not much room for intuition in the practice of medicine, at least not these days.

I recently discovered that’s not always the case.