OUR BLOG

I’ve been in business as a coach for 24 years this month. I’ve written more newsletters than I can remember … hundreds. A bunch about turning over the New Year.

I’ve talked about how resolutions don’t work and how we should change our mindset to setting intentions instead. I wrote that in Jan. 2005.

I’ve talked about the START … STOP … CONTINUE … CHANGE Model.

It’s a very useful exercise to do at this time of year.

More about that model in a bit …

My dear readers –

I want to wish you a blessed holiday season with family and friends. Whatever you celebrate, enjoy the time off and have a little fun.

When I think of Christmas … children’s faces and family celebrations, one word comes to mind …

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”

Most of you are probably familiar with this quote from Mark Twain.

Smart guy, and yet, like the rest of us, he worried … needlessly.

A short essay this month, because we’re in the Bahamas.  Grand Bahama to be exact.  It’s absolutely great here, by the way … the people, the beaches, the food, the weather.

Here we are in paradise, but we were worried.

I’ve been writing 2 newsletters a month since 2003 when I started as a Life Coach.  That’s a lot of newsletters!  So, I have a place where I put newsletter ideas when they come to me. 

His stories are wonderful. Enjoy!

The idea I jotted down for this edition was … Write it off and keep on going!

It was born from one of those days where everything seems to go wrong.  Not major life-altering things, but smaller disappointments and screw-ups … stacking up.

I noticed that I’m more able to let go of the things that just “aren’t right” than my husband is.  I think it’s because I make more of an effort to deliberately let them go and move on.  It’s not worth being upset.

So, I thought I’d expand on that theme here and give you some wisdom on how you actually do that.  And, lo and behold, a newsletter that I read all the time popped into my box. It’s written by Joerg Kuehn, who was my student at Coach U many years ago.  He’s German living in the UK now.  I met him when he was living in Singapore. 

His stories are wonderful.  Enjoy!

…or unlucky

Can we be honest here?

There are a lot of things we don’t … and never will … understand.

A few examples:

• Why do bad things happen to good people?
• A tiny, nearly weightless snowflake falls on a mountainside after billions have fallen before it, yet it’s the one that triggers the avalanche.  Why?
• According to quantum physics, “an electron can occupy a superposition of different orbital states simultaneously, meaning it can be in multiple states at once until measured.”  Huh?  Talk about not understanding!

This apparent randomness in the world can make us uneasy, so we look for quick and easy explanations for why things happen.

We sold our former home last week.  Closed … signed, sealed, and delivered.   And as relieved as we are to no longer have two homes to keep up, I’ve been feeling rather contemplative and sentimental.

Buying that house was a huge beginning for me many years ago when I moved to Asheville to take the position as the Festivals Coordinator for the City.

I was single.  Barely over the grief of my husband’s death.  Buying my first house all on my own.  Taking on a BIG job in a city where I didn’t know a soul.  Moving to the mountains of Western North Carolina … a place I loved and often escaped to when the grief and sadness were too great.

It was in that house that I let go of my former life and started to build a new one.   That house is where I proved to myself that “I could do it.”

You said you wanted to do something.  You said you were going to do something … and you didn’t.

Why not? 

Well, there could be a dozen reasons in each particular situation, but there’s one reason that’s common to many failures to follow through on our intentions.

And what’s that?

Everyone goes through stretches in life where you’re maxed out … stretched to the limit … in terms of available hours and available energy.  But you do what you have to do to meet your obligations and deal with emergent issues.

I get some of the best ideas from the people I coach!  But first, let me start with a story and you’ll understand why this insight is so important to me … and could be for you as well.

Someone I love dearly and used to be close to is ghosting me.  The saddest part for me is that I don’t even know why!

My clients often tell me stories … ranging from the tragic and heartbreaking to the hilarious and heartwarming.  Many I couldn’t relate to you because of confidentiality.

But recently, a client told me about her dog and a distinctive behavior he displays.

It’s both funny and instructive.