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A beautiful soul has left us.  Thich Nhat Hanh was a Buddhist monk and a revered teacher.  I just learned of his passing at age 95 on January 22 of this year in the place of his birth … Hue, Vietnam.  He wouldn’t have referred to himself this way, but I like to think of him as the ultimate life coach, and so I was very drawn to him.

His wisdom, his kindness, his compassion, his calm appreciation of the world around him in every moment presents us all with a wonderful example of what it means to be truly mindful and connected to what really matters during our time here on earth.

“We incur suffering, but we create unhappiness.” ~Matthieu Ricard

Matthieu Ricard is often called the world’s happiest person.  Why?  Because they hooked him up to sensors monitoring brain activity and the happiness centers in his brain lit up like a fireworks display.

Does that prove he’s the world’s happiest person?  No. It tells you the media love a good headline. 

But it also tells ya the guy’s really happy and, indeed, he’s the happiest person the researchers have ever tested.

Why is knowing this significant?  Because if “the world’s happiest man” tells you something about happiness, he’s probably on to something, and it’s probably well worth listening to.

So, what gives with the quotation?

“Whoa!  Huh?  Where’d that come from?”

Let me explain.

I always get comments on our newsletters.  I love getting them.  Lets me know how the message resonated with people and keeps me in touch with folks.  I’ve gotten hundreds of wonderful, encouraging notes over the years.

In nearly 20 years of writing newsIetters, I can remember only one comment you’d call mildly negative and a couple others that politely questioned some aspect of what I’d said.  That’s it for the other side of the ledger.

In the last Life Lessons newsletter, I talked about decision fatigue and the things you can do to mitigate its negative effects.  Pretty neutral subject.

I got three nice responses, and then one that told me the message was “incredibly condescending.”  The person went on to criticize me personally, but you don’t need those details.

As a life coach and business coach, I often help people get unstuck in areas of their lives that aren’t working or aren’t working as well as they’d like them to.  And, as a coach, it’s critically important I walk the talk with respect to the advice I offer them.

Lately, I’ve noticed I haven’t been making decisions about some personal health issues as quickly and decisively as I normally would … and, at first, I couldn’t figure out why.

I needed to find some trusted health professionals to help me sort through some minor health issues I’ve been facing and just couldn’t seem to get started.  I was stuck in the swirl of things … not taking action.

So, what to do coach?

We’re just over a week away from Groundhog Day.  It’s a day that carries special significance to me, as my late husband and I were married on February 2nd.

Day after day has gone by since then, and that milestone event now seems like a couple of lifetimes ago.

Day after day goes by, like pages being turned in a book, and once that page is read, it makes way for the rest of the story, however it’s to unfold.  That’s just how life is.

I have what I think is a really good idea.

You know how people make resolutions and set goals for the New Year?  That’s all well and good, but how often is one of those goals or resolutions … Do more things I enjoy and make sure to have plenty of fun?

Not very often.  Usually, this exercise is all about implementing some kind of self-improvement regimen or drawing up some kind of achievement-oriented action plan.  Fun seldom enters into the equation.

There are certain things monks do as they begin the day.

You might imagine the first one wouldn’t exactly be the first thing on one’s agenda.

Get centered and reflect on death.

Whoa. Okay. Hmmm.

But when you reflect on death, you can’t help but reflect on the preciousness of life and how fortunate you are to be alive this day!

The next one might seem like nothing special, and it isn’t. But that’s what makes it noteworthy.

If you’ve been following me for a while, you know it’s essential for me as a life coach to get my time in the morning for reflection and visioning, so my day starts off right.

I spend thirty minutes …. to a delicious full hour or more … reading, writing appreciation lists, listening to inspiring podcasts, etc.

In one of my audio sessions, I came across this wonderfully enthusiastic, happy man, who asked himself a simple question … a question that clearly changed the entire trajectory of his life!

You may think, since I’m a life coach, I’ve probably worked out all my “stuff” from childhood … emotional traumas … perceived slights … disappointments … fears … disempowering beliefs.

Uh, no.

Would that it were so! Not that I haven’t done pretty darn well with most of it, but resolution of these pesky mental and psychological bugaboos is seldom achieved all at once and completely. I don’t care who you are. That stuff is there.

Last night, a dear friend I haven’t heard from in a while sent me a text that said, “I was listening to ‘Harry’s song’ tonight and I thought of you.”

Harry Hedges was my first husband … my first love. He died 30 years ago this year. Harry’s song was The Leader of the Band by Dan Fogelberg. It was the CD that was in our CD player when he died, and it described him perfectly … “a quiet man of music.”

I was surprised by how much grief and sadness was aroused when I listened to his song again. And it couldn’t help but reactivate the feelings of loss surrounding the death of my dear friend, Stephen, just one month ago.

We’ve all suffered losses over the last year. Our loss of freedom. Loss of family and friends. Some through death … some through the divisiveness created in our country … some through the inability to connect in person.