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How Happy Are You? The Way to Tell.

In life, there are things you simply HAVE to do.  And they take away from the things you GET to do.  So, what’s your HAVE TO / GET TO ratio?  As a life coach, I’m always encouraging clients, audience members, and readers to do more of the things that bring them joy and satisfaction … and to structure their lives so they’re able to do more of the things they really like doing.

I’ll often ask something like, “What would you like to do that would make you really happy and energized?”

I usually get a pretty ready answer, accompanied by a lightened facial expression and a relaxation of the body. The stuff you get to do in life is, by definition, the stuff that makes you happy … and it shows in your “beingness.”

Notice I didn’t say want to do.  There’s an important distinction here.

When you get to do something, sure, it means you want to do it.  But there’s more to it.

It means you’re free from constraints … free to engage in those activities you get the most reward from … the most delight … the greatest sense of purpose … the most fulfilling sense of accomplishment.

Now, what got me thinking about this was an interview I heard with someone recently who said he loved doing the research and writing for his subscription service, but he didn’t like having to do the editing and the other tedious jobs that are required to publish a professional product.  So, he delegated that stuff.

So whaddya do with your have-to’s?

Ask yourself the following questions …

What would I rather be doing that would provide more return on my precious investment of time?  What would light me up?  What would energize me?  How can I manage to do more of that?

Does every have to on my list really have to be done?   Could I ditch some of them and suffer no serious consequences?  Because some things that look like have-to’s are probably more like would like to do’s or nice to do’s.

Am I really the one who has to do these things?

Can I find someone to take the load off me, so I can get to do the things that light me up?

Now, maybe you can’t shift the ratio all that much.  Everybody’s situation is different.

But with every incremental improvement in the ratio, you experience an incremental increase in your degree of freedom … and that’s what we all want, isn’t it?  More freedom to do the good stuff.

So, here’s a caution … and the bottom line.

You can easily slip into a place where you’ve loaded yourself down with have-to’s …  beyond those which life has just handed you and you don’t have much control over. 

And the days and months and years have a way of slipping by while you’re running on that treadmill just trying to keep up.

That’s not the description of a vibrant, fulfilled life.

But if you’ve overburdened yourself, that’s okay.  You’re not trapped on the hamster wheel for eternity, even though it might seem like it sometimes.

You’ve done the loading.  You can do the unloading.

My advice as a life coach?

Think in terms of the ratio, and how you can improve it. 

Then, make it a point to improve it, so you get to live a richer, fuller life by intention … much more on your own terms and in your own unique way.

Trust me.  You’ll be happier for it.




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