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How do you take the measure of a person? What criteria do you use in your evaluation? One of the joys of being a life coach is you meet and work with so many different kinds of wonderful and truly impressive people.

What really impresses me is usually not so much the more superficial attributes, the God-given gifts, such as attractiveness, intelligence or certain special capabilities, although those can certainly be impressive.

I’m just more taken by people who decide to live their lives in a consistently positive way … especially by the choices they make when the true nature of their character is on the line.

For example, take the case of when someone needs your help and there’s absolutely nothing in it for you … except maybe some inconvenience, aggravation, or expense. Maybe even some safety risk.

I’m writing this two days after election day.

You can breathe easy … it’s NOT about the election.

It’s about something else entirely.

Waiting.

It’s been a difficult year, riddled with uncertainty, unease, and unrest. As a life coach and business consultant, I’m painfully aware of the anxiety many of my clients are experiencing. And with the election around the corner, I’m concerned about the friction we all feel and its potential to tear families, communities, and our nation apart.

How can we expand our ability to listen to the other guy and allow people to be who they are and believe what they choose to believe?

The Unexpected Value of Saying No

Do you have an issue with telling a service provider no? … something as simple as, “I’ve thought it over and thanks, but no thanks.” It’s been my experience as a business coach and life coach over the last 20 years that a lot of people do!

Some people’s way of saying no is silence … avoidance. They may have said they’d get back in touch to close the loop, but you never hear from them again.

Does that ever describe you?

For example: You have three contractors come out to bid on building a retaining wall. You decide to go with one of them. Do you call or email or text the other two to tell them you won’t be using their services?

How about if you’re looking for an accountant … or a graphic designer … or a coach?

Do you let them know directly, in an upfront, unequivocal, and timely communication … or do you just kinda let it slide and figure they’ll get the message?

Why do I ask? Because how you “say” no matters … especially when you don’t actually say it.

Here are some of the potential impacts your silence has.

I’ll often use up to 700 words in these life coaching newsletters to illustrate an important point.

But, isn’t it nice when we can capture a fundamental truth in just a handful of carefully chosen words that really resonate.

People’s lives have been disrupted and they have concerns around money. Those concerns may keep them from using your services. As a service provider, you want to bend over backwards to help. I understand. AND, part of my job as a business coach and newsletter writer is to keep you from making mistakes.

Life Coaching lessons show up all over the place. This month, I have one from a special book I’m reading, The Book of Joy, co-written by the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu. I highly recommend it.

They tell a story I’ll never forget.

It’s a trying time to be in business for yourself. This business coach understands that firsthand!

But what you do now … and what you don’t do … will make all the difference in the long term sustainability of your business.

So, what’s the biggest skill you need right now?

A lot of people are anxious these days.

Look, I get it. There’s a lot going on. There’s a lot of uncertainty.

Uncertainty breeds apprehension … the fear of what might happen … which, in turn, breeds anxiety.

And, if you stay anxious all the time, it’ll make you miserable and sick, which, ironically, is what many people are anxious about … getting sick.

So … here’s my question for you.

As a business coach and life coach, my job is to listen to people. I listen to what they’re saying … and what they’re not saying.

I recently had a conversation I want to bring to your attention, because there’s a message we can glean from it that’s important to your business … especially if you’re looking to bring in new clients and business.