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There it is again.  That word.  It makes my skin crawl.  As both a business coach and just as a regular person, I literally flinch when I hear it.

What’s more, it speaks volumes about the mindset of the person speaking it.

I do my best to take on the same practices I recommend to my life coaching clients.  Do as I do seems to resonate with folks more than Do as I say.  Go figure.

One of those practices is a morning “meditation” of some sort where I might write my gratitude list or read something inspirational or uplifting.

Recently I was reading passages from a book … Recipes for a Sacred Life by Rivvy Neshama.

She relates a story told to her by her friend, Julia Dean.  It made me cry when I read it and it still grips me days later.

This is a tale of two providers.  One got the business.  The other didn’t.  And you won’t need a business coach to tell you why.

We went away for 10 days at the end of June and had to board our new puppy overnight, as the timeshare property we go to doesn’t allow dogs.

As new “parents,” we were understandably concerned about his having to be away from us for the first time and how he’d fare.  So, I had a lot of questions for the potential service providers.

After much research, I contacted four businesses.  Two never returned my calls.  Hmmm.  Makes ya wonder what’s goin’ on there.

With the two I reached, the experiences on the phone couldn’t have been more different.

Because I’m a life coach and business coach who’s been practicing for 20 years and I’ve learned a few things, people sometimes make the mistake of assuming I have it all together.  Uh … no.  I struggle with the very same things everybody does.

And there’s a very personal challenge I’ve been dealing with for over two years I want to share with you, because I’ve discovered some amazing life lessons as a result that could be helpful for you.

We’ve all had challenges with the pandemic … some health-related … others personal or financial.  We’ve all heard stories of people feeling isolated, experiencing rifts in their families, etc.  And I’m sad to say my family has been impacted by “philosophical” differences.

Bottom line?  I haven’t seen my family in over two years. 

Sometimes business coaching leads us to focus on some very simple things.  So simple, in fact, that we might forget sometimes just how important they really are … like going the extra mile to make sure you’re treating people really well. 

Who would those “people” be?  Anyone you interact with … your clients, customers, employees, independent contractors, vendors, alliance partners … in other words, your “stakeholders.”

Case in point …

A beautiful soul has left us.  Thich Nhat Hanh was a Buddhist monk and a revered teacher.  I just learned of his passing at age 95 on January 22 of this year in the place of his birth … Hue, Vietnam.  He wouldn’t have referred to himself this way, but I like to think of him as the ultimate life coach, and so I was very drawn to him.

His wisdom, his kindness, his compassion, his calm appreciation of the world around him in every moment presents us all with a wonderful example of what it means to be truly mindful and connected to what really matters during our time here on earth.

“They tell us not to give away too much.  Honey, you just gave away the farm.”  That’s a verbatim quote from a woman who’d just heard my talk on marketing to a group in Minnesota a few years back.  Guilty as charged!   As a business coach, I was doing exactly what many business experts warned them NOT to do. 

“We incur suffering, but we create unhappiness.” ~Matthieu Ricard

Matthieu Ricard is often called the world’s happiest person.  Why?  Because they hooked him up to sensors monitoring brain activity and the happiness centers in his brain lit up like a fireworks display.

Does that prove he’s the world’s happiest person?  No. It tells you the media love a good headline. 

But it also tells ya the guy’s really happy and, indeed, he’s the happiest person the researchers have ever tested.

Why is knowing this significant?  Because if “the world’s happiest man” tells you something about happiness, he’s probably on to something, and it’s probably well worth listening to.

So, what gives with the quotation?

My husband Tom and I just completed a two-day presentation skills training for seven corporate executives.  It was transformative! 

And the transformation was a pleasure to witness.

Here’s a testimonial from the team leader:

“All I can say is outstanding!  We wanted to have our leadership team go through a Presentation Skills Workshop.  We had a desire to have everyone be a bit more comfortable and confident on stage.  We were all nervous and unsure of what to expect.  Denise and Tom throw you into the deep-end pretty quickly. 

But it is so worth it to truly “see” where you start and where you end up after 2 days of being together.  It is absolutely remarkable!  Now, all our leaders have tricks and tips and much more confidence to speak to groups and answer questions on the fly from an audience.  The time away and the expense associated with this top-notch training is absolutely worth every penny.” 

Laura Schield, Chief Operating Officer
Bank Director | DirectorCorps

So why am I telling you this and how does it pertain to your business? 

“Whoa!  Huh?  Where’d that come from?”

Let me explain.

I always get comments on our newsletters.  I love getting them.  Lets me know how the message resonated with people and keeps me in touch with folks.  I’ve gotten hundreds of wonderful, encouraging notes over the years.

In nearly 20 years of writing newsIetters, I can remember only one comment you’d call mildly negative and a couple others that politely questioned some aspect of what I’d said.  That’s it for the other side of the ledger.

In the last Life Lessons newsletter, I talked about decision fatigue and the things you can do to mitigate its negative effects.  Pretty neutral subject.

I got three nice responses, and then one that told me the message was “incredibly condescending.”  The person went on to criticize me personally, but you don’t need those details.