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As a business coach with a thriving practice, I can’t possibly do everything that needs to be done in my practice … not if I want to have any kind of life!  It’s one of the things I teach … the top 3 things you need to focus on in your business.

If you’ve been reading these messages for a while, you know I’ve been looking for new team members for several key positions.

Well, I took the leap and hired a Virtual Assistant, something I’ve been resisting for some time, because I prefer a personal assistant working in my office.  The reality is there are things that a VA can’t do … or can’t do easily … from afar.  But I decided having help on 75% of the admin stuff is a lot better than nothing!

The other day, I was working with my VA and I had a major realization … one that could impact your business. 

You may think, since I’m a life coach, I’ve probably worked out all my “stuff” from childhood … emotional traumas … perceived slights … disappointments … fears … disempowering beliefs.

Uh, no.

Would that it were so! Not that I haven’t done pretty darn well with most of it, but resolution of these pesky mental and psychological bugaboos is seldom achieved all at once and completely. I don’t care who you are. That stuff is there.

Here’s a story from my past that directly relates to your business today.

Years ago, I was selected to be the first Executive Director of Spartanburg Community Events, a non-profit created by the City to produce and manage their festival and events. There were two major events, and they were previously managed by different divisions within City Hall.

A big part of my role was to bring in corporate funding through selling sponsorships. I had no previous experience, but I knew I was smart and gutsy and could learn!

So, I did just that … talking with folks who had experience in fundraising and creating packages of different areas of the festival that could be “sold” to a sponsor. That involved designing a professional portfolio of articles, news clippings, and photographs I could present to potential corporate partners

It took some time to pull all this together. One of my Board members, who had previously produced one of the events and clearly had a strong stake in it, accused me of not doing my job and brought this to the attention of the whole Board.

Last night, a dear friend I haven’t heard from in a while sent me a text that said, “I was listening to ‘Harry’s song’ tonight and I thought of you.”

Harry Hedges was my first husband … my first love. He died 30 years ago this year. Harry’s song was The Leader of the Band by Dan Fogelberg. It was the CD that was in our CD player when he died, and it described him perfectly … “a quiet man of music.”

I was surprised by how much grief and sadness was aroused when I listened to his song again. And it couldn’t help but reactivate the feelings of loss surrounding the death of my dear friend, Stephen, just one month ago.

We’ve all suffered losses over the last year. Our loss of freedom. Loss of family and friends. Some through death … some through the divisiveness created in our country … some through the inability to connect in person.

I absolutely love being a business coach … and I have to tell ya, it ain’t gettin’ any easier to do my job. Why? Because I’ve lost so many critical elements of my support team!

When the world shut down last year, I had to do without my cleaning folks for the time being. In the interim, they went out of business.

I lost my in-office administrative support person, because he didn’t have the ability to work virtually. I was blessed to have my former assistant step in electronically … that is until things opened up in NC and his massage business took off!

My graphic and web designer wants to be home more with her toddler. I completely understand, but that means she’s no longer available. She not only served me, but my clients as well.

And then, two weeks ago my Speaking and Tour Manager died unexpectedly. I lost my friend, my buddy. But I also lost another vital leg of support … the one support person most critical to the success of my business.

How is my business going to recover from this? You don’t just go out and find someone who has the personality and skills to book your speaking engagements. It takes a certain package of gifts and a lot of time in training.

So, now what?

In life, we’re often faced with situations where we simply need to do what we need to do. As a life coach, I talk with people a lot about what they want out of life … their dreams and aspirations. But I also help folks cope with the curveballs life throws at them … many of which are things they don’t have that much control over.

It might be a case of parents having to care for an autistic child.

It might be family members or friends having to take care of someone who’s sick, injured or simply in a bad place.

It might be kids … who are often becoming seniors themselves … finding themselves in a situation where they need to care for an aging parent or relative.

The reason I’m focusing here on caregiving will become obvious as we make our way down the page.

As a business coach with a specialty in speaking, I often help my clients with the talks and presentations they do to get clients and build their businesses. Recently, while editing a speech with a client, I came across this quote. I love it.

“Is your life filled with work, or is your work filled with life?”

(Sam Harris; Ideaspotting)

It got me thinking about those of us who own our own businesses and how, for most, there was an idea, a product, or a service we were really inspired to offer.

Now, here’s the question I want to pose for your serious consideration.

Do you still love what you do … are you still energized and inspired by what you’re offering?

All of it?

As a life and business coach, I often find myself starting early in the morning … after my gratitude time … working with clients, teaching classes, presenting on webinars, etc. It’s not unusual for me to go for several hours in a row with no real down time.

I typically take a midday break and then return to work with folks in the afternoon, sometimes going into the evening or coming back to work on administrative stuff at night.

I need to be 100% there for folks in every interaction. I put a lot into the work, drawing on all my resources. It takes energy.

It’s been well over a year now of nothing but virtual meetings. I’ve seen at least a couple hundred online presentations. You’ve probably been in more than you can count yourself. And as a business coach and presentation skills coach, I’ve gleaned some important learnings from seeing what works and what doesn’t.

I like the Dalai Lama. He seems like a really nice guy … friendly, relaxed, happy and healthy. In my mind’s eye, he’s smiling. He smiles a lot.

When you hear him speak, you can tell he knows a few things about the nature of living on earth.

The Lama is a Buddhist, of course, and Buddhists talk a lot about suffering. The broad and somewhat vague way they talk about it never really resonated to these American ears.