Poetry or Two Coats of Satin Latex?

Let me tell you about my guy. We’ve been together 15 years. He’s not a hearts and flowers kind of guy. He’s not likely to be romantic very often. Doesn’t write me poetry or leave me love notes. He wouldn’t be your hero in a romantic novel.

But, let me tell you what he did.

I went away last month for four days to visit my elderly Mom. When I returned home, I opened the door to my office and, lo and behold, it was painted a beautiful sunflower yellow I’d picked out months before.

The thought of having to paint my office had filled me with dread, because of all the work and disruption involved. All by himself, Tom disassembled the big bookcase, moved the file cabinet, furniture and plants, the heavy desk, all the computer equipment … painted the whole thing, trim and all, and had it perfectly put back perfectly for my arrival. In other words, he worked his butt off for four days as his expression of love!

In his book, The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman explains there are five ways to express love emotionally. He says, “Each person has a primary love language we must learn to speak if we want that person to feel loved.”

In short, these are:

Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
Receiving Gifts
Quality Time
Physical Touch

I’m not a marriage therapist by any means, but I wanted to give you a slightly different take.

What if you listened for the love language your spouse or partner prefers to “speak?” What if you concentrated on what they naturally give vs. focusing on what’s missing? The same goes for family members.

As much as I like and desire words of affirmation … and actually ask Tom for affirmation when I need it … I’ve chosen to concentrate instead on that beautiful office with the sunflower yellow that makes me happy weeks later whenever I walk into the room. And, I see how much he loves me!

All the best,
Denise