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The Two Things You Need to Be at Your Very Best

Order?  Whaddya mean order?   A place for everything and everything in its place?  Yeah.  I like order.  But what is this desire for order … a life value or something else?  As a life coach and former counselor with a BA in Psychology and a Master’s in Counseling, I’ve taken a variety of different personality and behavioral assessments over the years.

The TruValues Program developed by Coach U helped me identify my top four values … connection, contribution, beauty, and to inspire. 

Notice what’s missing there?  Uh huh.  Order.  I guess order isn’t a value in the strictest sense but ask anyone who knows me … especially my husband who has to live with me … order is something that drives my choices and behavior nearly every day.

It’s really important to me.

My house needs to look a certain way or I’m off kilter.  My desk and my work lists are all planned and orderly.  My spices are even in alphabetical order!  Hint … they’re so much easier to find.  Why would you do it in any other way?!

But what’s that about?  Because I still would never choose order as a top value.  Not even close.

There’s something else that drives our behavior as humans!


A need is a requirement.  According to Webster, a need is a physiological or psychological requirement for the well-being of an organism.

I don’t just value order, I NEED order for the well-being of this organism.

My brain doesn’t function as well if my kitchen is messy.  I can’t abide an untidy desk.  It causes me to be overloaded and feel chaotic inside.

So, why am I telling you this?

Because having your needs met is a basic requirement for your health and well-being!

So, here are some questions to ask yourself.

What do I need to function at my very best?

 What need isn’t getting met … and am I suffering because of it?

 What need do I have that I may be ignoring?

 When I feel just a little off kilter, is there typically an unmet need to blame?

And … where do my needs and values intersect?

 This last one is a key question, because that overlap between what you value and what you need is a really powerful driver of your behavior.

I value connection.  I always choose it in my top four.  But I also need connection.  It drives most of what I do.

So, where do your values and needs reinforce each other to form a kind of life imperative … something that defines you and motivates you?

Just take 5 -10 minutes to reflect on your needs and your values and look at what may be missing that would have you be happier, more peaceful, and more fulfilled.

And if you aren’t getting a need met, ask for it to be met or work toward satisfying it, because an unmet need is at best an irritation and at worst a drag on your energy and potential.

And we can’t have anything sapping your energy or diminishing your potential.

You’re too indispensable for that.




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