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You said you wanted to do something.  You said you were going to do something … and you didn’t.

Why not? 

Well, there could be a dozen reasons in each particular situation, but there’s one reason that’s common to many failures to follow through on our intentions.

And what’s that?

The inherent conservatism of all systems, be they biological, organizational, or social.

Huh?  It’s not as wonky as it sounds.

The message here is both simple and incredibly profound.  AND, understanding it might just stop you from beating up on yourself when you don’t make the kind of forward progress you planned to make on things you said you wanted to do.

Let’s flesh this out in simple English.

In order to maintain its “integrity” … not die, get transformed into something unsustainable, or simply fall apart … any system will default to taking a better-safe-than-sorry approach.

Rather than leap into the unknown, it will balk.  It will hesitate.  It will question the wisdom of undertaking anything that looks even remotely like radical change or dangerous in any way.

A biological example:  You’ve heard that fasting is good for you, so you resolve to do it.  Nothing crazy.  Just 3 days.  But not eating for an extended period seems kinda crazy to the part of you that’s keenly interested in maintaining systemic integrity, i.e.. not starving.  So, you don’t ever fast.

Is that a weakness in your character?  Absolutely not.  Should you beat yourself up over your lack of resolve?  Absolutely not.

That better-safe-than-sorry default is built into who you are as a human being.

Don’t believe me.  Look at ancient maps.  When the cartographers depicted lands that were beyond the known world, they drew the words, “Here there be dragons.”

There’s a natural … often irrational … fear of the unknown.

It’s hardwired.

So, whaddaya do when there’s something you want to do and you get stopped by your internal safety police?

First … honor them.  They’re trying to protect you.  It’s a big job in this crazy world.

Second … consider the risk/reward dynamics of the particular situation and make a rational decision regarding its actual riskiness.

Third … If it is a dumb idea, give it up.  If it isn’t truly risky, talk to that part of you whose only job is your safety and thank it for protecting you, and then, tell it you understand its concern, but you’ve determined it’s okay.

And tell your inner protector, he or she can warn you if there’s a new pothole in the future you can’t see.

It works, because that part of your subconscious feels heard vs. ignored and cavalierly overridden.

If you don’t go through these steps, the danger warnings will continue and you’ll probably find yourself hesitating or maybe never moving forward with your plans.

And then, if you’re like most people, you’ll beat yourself up.

That’s so unfortunate and gets you nothing.

You can move forward intentionally and purposefully.  Just don’t think you can ignore that little voice of caution.

It demands to be heard.

Love,

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Meet Denise: Denise Hedges is a Business Development Coach and Speaker Coach for small business owners who want to be more comfortable, confident, and successful with their sales and marketing efforts. She specializes in helping them use speaking as a way to dramatically improve their results

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