OUR BLOG

“We incur suffering, but we create unhappiness.” ~Matthieu Ricard

Matthieu Ricard is often called the world’s happiest person.  Why?  Because they hooked him up to sensors monitoring brain activity and the happiness centers in his brain lit up like a fireworks display.

Does that prove he’s the world’s happiest person?  No. It tells you the media love a good headline. 

But it also tells ya the guy’s really happy and, indeed, he’s the happiest person the researchers have ever tested.

Why is knowing this significant?  Because if “the world’s happiest man” tells you something about happiness, he’s probably on to something, and it’s probably well worth listening to.

So, what gives with the quotation?

“Whoa!  Huh?  Where’d that come from?”

Let me explain.

I always get comments on our newsletters.  I love getting them.  Lets me know how the message resonated with people and keeps me in touch with folks.  I’ve gotten hundreds of wonderful, encouraging notes over the years.

In nearly 20 years of writing newsIetters, I can remember only one comment you’d call mildly negative and a couple others that politely questioned some aspect of what I’d said.  That’s it for the other side of the ledger.

In the last Life Lessons newsletter, I talked about decision fatigue and the things you can do to mitigate its negative effects.  Pretty neutral subject.

I got three nice responses, and then one that told me the message was “incredibly condescending.”  The person went on to criticize me personally, but you don’t need those details.

As a life coach and business coach, I often help people get unstuck in areas of their lives that aren’t working or aren’t working as well as they’d like them to.  And, as a coach, it’s critically important I walk the talk with respect to the advice I offer them.

Lately, I’ve noticed I haven’t been making decisions about some personal health issues as quickly and decisively as I normally would … and, at first, I couldn’t figure out why.

I needed to find some trusted health professionals to help me sort through some minor health issues I’ve been facing and just couldn’t seem to get started.  I was stuck in the swirl of things … not taking action.

So, what to do coach?

We’re just over a week away from Groundhog Day.  It’s a day that carries special significance to me, as my late husband and I were married on February 2nd.

Day after day has gone by since then, and that milestone event now seems like a couple of lifetimes ago.

Day after day goes by, like pages being turned in a book, and once that page is read, it makes way for the rest of the story, however it’s to unfold.  That’s just how life is.

I have what I think is a really good idea.

You know how people make resolutions and set goals for the New Year?  That’s all well and good, but how often is one of those goals or resolutions … Do more things I enjoy and make sure to have plenty of fun?

Not very often.  Usually, this exercise is all about implementing some kind of self-improvement regimen or drawing up some kind of achievement-oriented action plan.  Fun seldom enters into the equation.

Let me tell you about the first most important step you need to take as you’re starting your business … and every year thereafter. In nearly 20 years as a business coach, it’s the step I see most of my business owners wanting to skip!

But first, I want to tell you a quick story that illustrates why you don’t want to omit this step! Bear with me …

There are certain things monks do as they begin the day.

You might imagine the first one wouldn’t exactly be the first thing on one’s agenda.

Get centered and reflect on death.

Whoa. Okay. Hmmm.

But when you reflect on death, you can’t help but reflect on the preciousness of life and how fortunate you are to be alive this day!

The next one might seem like nothing special, and it isn’t. But that’s what makes it noteworthy.

If you’ve been following me for a while, you know it’s essential for me as a life coach to get my time in the morning for reflection and visioning, so my day starts off right.

I spend thirty minutes …. to a delicious full hour or more … reading, writing appreciation lists, listening to inspiring podcasts, etc.

In one of my audio sessions, I came across this wonderfully enthusiastic, happy man, who asked himself a simple question … a question that clearly changed the entire trajectory of his life!

You may think, since I’m a life coach, I’ve probably worked out all my “stuff” from childhood … emotional traumas … perceived slights … disappointments … fears … disempowering beliefs.

Uh, no.

Would that it were so! Not that I haven’t done pretty darn well with most of it, but resolution of these pesky mental and psychological bugaboos is seldom achieved all at once and completely. I don’t care who you are. That stuff is there.

In life, we’re often faced with situations where we simply need to do what we need to do. As a life coach, I talk with people a lot about what they want out of life … their dreams and aspirations. But I also help folks cope with the curveballs life throws at them … many of which are things they don’t have that much control over.

It might be a case of parents having to care for an autistic child.

It might be family members or friends having to take care of someone who’s sick, injured or simply in a bad place.

It might be kids … who are often becoming seniors themselves … finding themselves in a situation where they need to care for an aging parent or relative.

The reason I’m focusing here on caregiving will become obvious as we make our way down the page.