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There are times when we’re in physical, mental/emotional, and behavioral states that aren’t doing us any good or, at the very least, are suboptimal.  As a life coach, a big part of my job is helping people improve their physical and emotional state and behave more advantageously, so they can be happier, more productive, and simply get more of what they want out of life.

That process involves change.  And change doesn’t come about without two things … a recognition that change is needed and the willingness to actually do what’s necessary to effect it.

In life, there are things you simply HAVE to do.  And they take away from the things you GET to do.  So, what’s your HAVE TO / GET TO ratio?  As a life coach, I’m always encouraging clients, audience members, and readers to do more of the things that bring them joy and satisfaction … and to structure their lives so they’re able to do more of the things they really like doing.

I’ll often ask something like, “What would you like to do that would make you really happy and energized?“

Has she called yet?  Is the technician scheduled to come out?  I gave her the guy’s number a couple of days ago.  I’m left waiting and wondering.   And while I wait, it’s making me think about two cardinal themes of life coaching … tolerations and personal integrity. 

Ya want to get rid of the first … and you want to do everything possible to uphold the second.

As I’m working with my life and business coaching clients, I often see themes … re-occurring issues, challenges, or opportunities that several of them are dealing with at about the same time.  It’s often something I’m dealing with as well.  And that’s part of the beauty of being a life coach.  

I’m subject to the same issues and challenges and I can’t exempt myself from following the advice I give folks. 

I have to “walk the talk” alongside my clients.

A theme I’ve been noticing lately is how much our self-righteousness gets in the way of what we want … both at work and in our relationships.

Life doesn’t work like a Digital Video Recorder.  Huh?  What’s this crazy talk coming from your trusty life coach?

“I should be over this by now!”  Recently, in calls with my life coaching clients, several people have said this to me … exasperated that they’re still troubled by something they “should have” dealt with and put to rest by now.   The issue was different in each case … the refrain exactly the same.

What’s troubling them is always something from their past … often childhood … that’s stuck with them, unresolved.  And often, they’ve made up a “story” about it they believe to be true … one that traps them in an unhappy place … a bothered place … a place of self-criticism.

Over the last several years, we’ve had the privilege of coaching executives of a high-tech company, whose name you’d recognize.  They’re an S&P 500 company that makes the equipment and provides the services that allow the modern world … and all the incredibly complex systems we take for granted … to operate seamlessly behind the scenes. 

The senior VP in charge of the division we’re involved with is a force of nature and a great leader, in large part because he’s both a good strategic thinker with great instincts and a very skilled, supportive communicator who’s able to get the best out of his people.

We were talking with him and one of his direct reports … another standout leader … about how easy it is to get impatient and kinda growl at people when we’re frustrated.

Our VP told us this story … short and bittersweet.

If you’ve been following me for a while, you probably know that about six months ago we adopted a puppy, bringing this little bundle of fluff and joy into our family.  Like a good business owner and coach, I didn’t take this decision lightly.  I actually considered the move for quite some time and did my due diligence before taking the leap.

Picture me in my happy place, spending time at our condo in Puerto Aventuras, Mexico.  And I’m riding in my golf cart along my favorite “jungle” path, watching the workers leave for the day.  There’s always a stream of workers coming in the gate at 7 am and out again around 5 pm … a flood of construction workers, often carrying big heavy toolboxes on their shoulders or on their motorcycles, alongside the wait staff for the hotels and restaurants, walking or riding their bikes.

The folks I get to interact with are uniformly happy, gracious, and kind-hearted.  Is there any resentment when they see me in a golf cart, clearly not headed to lay concrete block or take orders on a hot beach from people who aren’t always as gracious as they could be?  I’m sure there’s some.  But I’ve never seen it.

What are you grateful for?  As a life coach, I ask myself and my clients this all the time … not just at Thanksgiving.

And, so often, it’s the people in our lives, good health, and material abundance that we tend to focus on.  That’s all good. 

And yet, there are the miracles of life we tend to take for granted … like the beating of our hearts, which will do their thing some 100,000 times today … the magical thing that is high fidelity recorded music … the seed that waits years before flowering in the desert  … the miracle of the sun rising yet another day as the earth rockets through space at 36,000 miles an hour.

May I offer you this Taoist prayer, which connects us with the essential … the miraculous … the possible.  I think you’ll enjoy it.